For this blog, please complete Qs. #1-4 independently first. Then, interview your parent/relative/loved one & share their responses to #1, #2 and #4. Last, complete #5 independently, reflecting on your interview. [If an interview is not possible, blog on how you think your parent would respond, based on past conversations.]
1. There are many portrayals of what life looks like in the advanced years:
a) Think about what you want future years to look like for your parent/relative/ loved one, upload 3-4 images (e.g.: Google) to depict this & describe what they signify.
The above 4 images are all about family time and party/celebration time. I want future years for my Mum to be happy, memorable times, spent with her close family, especially her 3 x grandchildren.
b) Now choose 3-4 images that do not depict what you envision for your parent/relative/loved one and describe why.
The above 3 images illustrate what I don't want the future to hold for my Mum:
For her not to feel trapped in the Big 'C' word.
Not to have to wear a wig because of the chemotherapy taking all of her hair away.
Not to be broken by cancer.
c) What are key differences between the two depictions & why this is important?
The key differences between the 2 sets of pictures are happy and sad, the first set depict happiness and joy, the second set depict sadness and the sense of feeling trapped/broken.
2. How important is staying at home (one’s own or a relative’s) as one ages? Why?
Very important as they can feel very comfortable and enjoy the comforts of being on their own home.
Please blog about what being able to stay at home does for a person physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. Why is this important? I think it helps them to feel calm, relaxed and comfortable, this is very important as they have enough to worry about in terms of their ill health.
Last, upload an image of how an older person that lives at home may feel and an image of how an older person who is not able to live at home may feel. Describe your choices.
Who is not able to live at home - Upset, frustrated, tearful, deserted and maybe like a baby as they are not capable of looking after themselves/need to rely on others.
3. Please explain your journey to-date in helping provide/arrange care for an older person:
a) What research have you done & what are your sources of information? Looked online and spoke to local GP/nurses, family, support units and charities in this field.
b) Who has been involved in any research/decisions and to what extent? Myself mainly and my Dad in part.
c) How/when did you begin conversations with your parent/relative/loved one about care? Why then? In early 2017 when she came off a trial drug and started to deteriorate.
Describe how you approached the subject? By just having a low key/informal/friendly chat.
How did the conversation go? Okay/so so, they were partly receptive
Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently? Maybe tackled the subject in smaller chunks and over a longer space of time.
Any knowledge/tools you wish you had that would have helped? Not really as I felt full informed at the time.
d) Describe any initial help/care provided & by whom. Then describe how that has evolved over time, and end by detailing what specific help/care is being provided currently & by whom. It started with less frequent GP/nurse visits to more frequent visits which now culminates in daily visits from the nurses.
e) Upload an image depicting how you feel about where you are right now in this journey & explain why.
I feel lucky to have had access to a valuable range of resources and opinions which have been a great help.
What do you feel is working right now & what do you feel is not working as well - why? What might you change & how? It is working having my Mum at home as that is where she wants to be. What is not working is the unpredictability and unreliability of the external support
f) How do you know when it’s time to adjust the plan or level of help/care? When there are further signs of deterioration and when my Mum requests it. Describe any “signs” you looked for in the past or might look for in the future. Increased breathing problems and generally becoming more frail/worsening mobility problems.
4. If more help/care is required in the future, what are your top 3 criteria in seeking the best fit in a professional service or facility?
A. Positive past experience
B. Fit for purpose
C. Added value
Why are these most important? Because this is what makes the difference and help my Mum to deal with her illness.
What options would you consider & how does each stack up on your criteria? More regular and more intense home care is the main option. Residential care home and respite care have been considered.
5. Reflect on differences between your answers & your parent/loved one’s answers to #1, 2 & 4. Did anything surprise you-why? No surprises as we are both on the same page and we've been through this together over the last 3 years.
Could that impact future decisions? Going forward we will discuss and work through this together.
Great job! I'd like you to share your mum's answers to questions 1, 2 and 4. If you don't have her responses, then blog on how you think she would respond to each.
ReplyDeleteHi Moderator 1 - As I mentioned in my original post, my Mum's responses 1, 2 and 4 are exactly the same as my responses. Me and my Mum are so close, you wouldn't believe it and we are totally on the same wave length.
ReplyDeleteI will add a few more points below as to her responses:
Q1 - My Mum said that she knows her time is short and she wants to spend as much time as she can with her 3 grandchildren, she lives for them, they are her world and she totally adores them. There is only 1 thing that my Mum wants to change and that is for her not to have cancer.
Q2 - My mum's last wish is to stay in her own bed in her own home, she is adamant that she doesn't want to go anywhere else - hospital/respite/care home. It means so much to Mum to have all her home comforts round her.
Q4 - My Mum agrees that positive past experience is important, she also made the comment that she would prefer a female to provide the professional help and also someone who has some life experience/not a junior member of staff. She would prefer not to have daily visits, however, she recognises the need for this.
Hope this gives you what you need ? Please can you confirm or let me know if you need any further detail. Thanks.
This is just what I was looking for, thanks.
ReplyDeletePerfect !!
ReplyDelete